one last blog post before ...

haha. i think i'm getting abit too easy to read already. its abit disconcerting that two people can read me so well at the same time. shrugs. connection right? haha. you two know very well who you two are. and to one i'm extremely grateful for everything. to the other, i'm glad the air's been cleared. like i said, i was going to tie up the loose ends by myself anyway. and nowhere's better to do it than with my lovelies. haha.

i'm walking away from this path now. but when i'm ok, i know i'll definitely find my way back, on a different path. same old same old.

thorpe park today was a blast. ashraf won me a HUGE ASS pooh in a jumper (((: totally made my day. i was super happy. i was bouncing around with it e whole time. making sure it didn't get dirty. it was the only thing he won today. hehee, he tried again at the same game for sanjay but couldn't win anything. smirks. i like being special (: haha. much love to ashraf. who has been keeping me company these past few days and all those nights during production. he kept me going all this while. which makes me feel even worse for pangsehing him, but he understands i need this la. sighs.

talking to jer on msn today was love. i think i've got so many wonderful conversations with ppl on msn nowadays. haha. she reinforced my belief in myself. made me feel loved. and most importantly, got me so laugh. its super funny how we talk more when we're separated by so much distance. same with dione. what a joke.

shit the room is rocking and spinning around me. i think i'm going to be sick. after all this time you'd think i'd be super used to my low bloody pressure. damnit.

i think there's a masochistic side to me, a side that always existed but i wasn't sure i was willing to acknowledge. but after all this, i definitely know it exists. but i think i've grown from all this too. i don't think i've hardened alot more. unlike previous encounters. but ET and this has combined to make me alot more aware of many things.

rash, impulsive and instinctive. that would be me.

soon. just give me time. everyone.

: you and me song :: wannadies :